1. Use it as a weapon. I‘ve tried it myself and it works pretty well.
2. Melt it and try to make gold of it. (Please send me a mail with the chemical recipe if your try results in a success).
3. Cut of the sharp end and stick it up your nose. I guarantee that it will be the best-looking nose ring you’ve ever seen.
4. Use the rest of the fork as small baseball bat.
5. Use it as a farmer tool and help a mouse to plant seeds.
6. Play dart with it and use a plate as the bull’s eye.
7. Dig it down, but let the top be above the earth. That way you‘ve created a land mine which will be dangerous only once.
8. Sell your land mine idea to the military industry, and make a fortune.
9. Put it on the wall over the TV.
10. Use it to destroy the TV when your favourite team has lost an important game. If you’ve already destroyed the TV, I recommend that you destroy the computer screen instead. A fork is in general a good tool if you wanna destroy a screen.
11. If your friend destroys his TV without unplugging it, you can use a fork to pick him if the electric shock knocks him out.
12. In case you‘re still capable to move after you’ve put your fork in the TV, you should put the fork into the wall socket. The electric shock will undo the effect from the TV-electricity shock, and you’ll feel like the king of the world.
13. Use it as a template for a giant fork. (At least over 1 meter.)
14. March around in your neighbourhood with your new giant fork. This way you’ll learn how to carry the fork.
15. When you’ve practiced for a while and you know how to carry it, its time to bring the fork downtown.
16. Sign autographs and let your new fans take pictures of you. (Remember to watch out for Japanese tourists, they might try to blind you with their cameras.)
17. Use your new popularity to get a new girl-/boyfriend. Keep in mind that you’ll have to bring a small fork to the dates. That way your date can touch and admire one of your forks, and she/he will bee even more eager to come to your place too see The Giant.
18. When you’ve established a relationship/when you’ve seen a lot of women/men, its time to sort out your job life. To do so, use your fork to unlock your boss’s door and kidnap all of his forks. Keep them hostage until he gives you what you want.
19.Most people shift jobs from time to time, and if you decide it’s what you want, your fork will be your best friend. Just find the job you want and use the fork to remove the person who has the job from his/hers position.
20. Build a house to your fork. He deserves to get something in return for helping you.
Now you know all the things you can do with a fork, or? Yes you‘re right, I forgot to mention something. The suggestions on this list isn’t just things you can do with a fork, it’s a list of things you should do before you die. No one should pass away without the major experiences these 20 points add to your life.
Good luck!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
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